See Things As They Are

Sometimes it seems as if the world is just deliberately trying to piss you off.

Assholes are everywhere.  Events conspire to frustrate you.  Even inanimate objects like your phone seem to be deliberately driving you crazy.

To not only survive, but thrive at such times, you must first realize that the key word in the above paragraph is seems.  People and inanimate objects do in fact exist, and events do occur.  But how they affect you has more to do with your opinion of them than how they actually are.

As the Roman Emperor, Stoic philosopher, and owner of a jealousy-inducing head of hair Marcus Aurelius wrote in his Meditations:

“Take away thy opinion, and then there is taken away the complaint, “I have been harmed.”  Take away the complaint “I have been harmed,” and the harm is taken away.

If you think something is causing you pain, you’re probably wrong.  The way you’re thinking about it is what’s causing pain.

Think back to the last time something pissed you off so badly that you spent the better part of the day being angry.  Which was worse?  The thing that pissed you off, or spending the day feeling that way?

For the next few days, watch for anything causing you pain or aggravation.  When you feel it coming on, stop.  Take a step back and try to see things for what they really are.

Is that person really trying to hurt you, or are they just looking out for themselves, oblivious to any effect on you?  Is the ding in your car that’s going to cost $500 to fix really worth anguish and soaring blood pressure?  Is your 3-year-old really trying to drive you crazy, or is she just learning about cause and effect?

Ask yourself if it’s really worth causing yourself pain because someone was rude to you.  Or cut you off on the highway.  Or insulted you on social media.  Or blew you off for lunch.

See things as they really are, not as how you perceive them.