Category Archives: personal development
Build a Bigger Block
A concrete block is set down in front of you. Your task is to make it smaller. What do you do?
Break out a chisel and hammer and start chipping away at it? Get a rotary sander and try trimming a little bit off at a time? Start wailing away at it with a sledge?
Or you could build a second, much bigger block right next to it, making the first block appear tiny.
Do the same thing when you compete with others.
Focus on your improvement, your knowledge, and your development. Make yourself more by making yourself more, not by making others less.
Did You Choose?
Have you chosen the lifestyle you’re living? Or was it handed to you?
Some reasons we endure lifestyles that aren’t our first choice:
- I’m living the way my parents expected me to
- Everyone else I know lives the same way, why not me?
- I don’t have enough money to live the way I want
- I don’t have enough freedom to live the way I want
- I have kids, there’s no way I could live the way I want
- I’m afraid to change things
- I’ve never considered anything else
How else might you live your life? What changes could you make? Why don’t you?
Here’s a hint: there are people out there living the life of your dreams, and they had the same reasons blocking their way that you do. They overcame them.
You can overcome yours.
Your Own Cheering Section
Imagine you’re a runner.
[I know. “Running sucks! Why the hell would I imagine that? Are you trying to make me throw up?” Do it anyway.]
So imagine you’re a runner and you’re getting ready for a 10K. Suppose your personal best at that distance was run at a 7:30 pace. Now you want to push a 7:15 pace and destroy your previous record.
How do you do that?
Well, if you’ve been training properly, all there’s left to do is run the race. You’ll need to push your pace more than you ever have before for a little over 6 miles. You’ll have to find a way to spur yourself on when it gets tough through miles 4 and 5. You’ll have to be strong, hold on, and not give in to the fatigue and pain.
So imagine you’re doing that. Sounds tough, right? But it’s possible.
Now imagine you have some of your closest friends and family right beside you during the race, screaming at you not to slow down, not to stop, not to give in.
Suddenly it seems that much easier to do. It won’t be any less painful, mind you, and in fact it will likely be more painful, but having a cheering section will drive you more than you’re able to do on your own.
Even if we’re masters of discipline and self-motivation, the very idea of letting someone else down is an incredibly powerful motivator.
So use it. Have a deadline on a difficult project? Get a friend to hold you accountable. Training for a sprint tri? Grab a few training partners and make sure you have people cheering you on from the sidelines in the late stages of the race? Writing a screenplay? Don’t keep it a secret, announce it to some family members you know will get on your ass if you let it slide.
Sure, you might excel at motivating yourself. But having your own personal cheering section will push you that much further.
Retraining the Craving
The list of things that you don’t have – a jet ski, a new car, a Tiffany’s diamond, a beach house, those cute red Jimmy Choo’s – is infinite. Acquiring something new is only satisfying for a short time, then you go right back to coveting something else in the endless universe of buyable things.
Craving things we don’t have is a nonstarter. There’s no end and no satisfaction.
Learning how to be happy with what you have, however, can provide limitless reward.
Yearning for stuff is natural. Learning how to appreciate what you have may not be, but it’s worth digging into.
Be a Quitter
“Never quit.”
We’ve all heard it before. It can be inspiring, particularly when paired with an athletic logo and a picture of some chiseled guy or girl sweating their ass off.
But “Never quit” is a blunt instrument. You can do better.
There are times when quitting is obviously the right thing to do. Quitting an unhealthy habit like smoking or lying down in traffic is a good idea. Quitting a lousy book is an easy call. Quitting one job when you have a better one lined up is also a straightforward decision, particularly when your current boss is a Homeric-poem-sized jackass.
There are other situations, however, in which you may find yourself wanting to quit but you’re unsure whether it’s the right thing to do.
For example, you’re hammering away at a business idea but you’re having a hard time finding customers. Do you quit?
You went to medical school because you wanted to be a physician, but now you’re having second thoughts. Do you quit?
To navigate these more difficult situations, try using this rule:
If the value of doing something else is greater than the value of continuing on your current path, then quit.
Note that we don’t say “If the value of quitting is greater than the value of continuing…” When you’re deep in the struggle, quitting and doing nothing almost always looks better than pressing on. But rarely is it worth quitting to just vegetate.
[This, by the way, is what most people mean when they say “Never Quit”: don’t quit something to which you’ve committed yourself in order to simply not struggle with it any more.]
If you’re battling with something and you suddenly find yourself wanting to quit, try stepping out of the discomfort for a moment and asking a few questions:
Is this experience helping me to grow, or am I otherwise getting value out of it in spite of the pain?
If the answer to the first question is “No”, what has to change in order for me to start getting value out of it?
If the answer to the previous question is “I have no idea”, who can I talk to to help me get some answers?
The answers to the above questions will give you an idea of the value of your current situation, which you can then compare that to the value of doing something else.
Be warned, however: when comparing the two, the pain you’re going through will tend to inflate the value of doing something (anything!) else, or to put it more simply, the grass is definitely going to seem greener on the other side.
Saying “Never quit” is sexy and, in most cases, good advice. There are some situations, however, in which it’s a good idea to move on.
Learning how to identify those situations is key to continuing your growth and improving your quality of life.